I remember standing on the scales getting my weight read to me and marked down in my file for my seventh grade dance class. I was traumatized, I knew the exact numbers and how it had changed since last semester. Years later, during the middle of my junior year I would miss a state mandated fitness test because I was terrified to step on the scale and to know my weight and BMI. Of course, I would fake sick to get out of it but internally I knew I could never know those numbers because they would haunt me. For years, each time I went in for a check-up no matter how sick I was I made sure to pay attention to my weight, how it had changed. I would prep for days going into my appointment so I “maintained a good weight”. I was so very sick and I had no idea.
Today I still struggle. Recovery is not an open and shut book that I can close and put on the shelf. However, I am thousands miles from where I once was. The other day I ate brownies for breakfast solely because I wanted them and let me tell you they were delicious. For me, I have certain triggers that I have to be careful to avoid or deal with in a proper manner or Ed thinks he can come have a chat with me. I am so grateful for my journey and what has happened to me during my twelve year battle and my two year ongoing recovery journey. However, I can’t help but wonder what if something had changed sooner, when I was younger. And that gives me hope for the young people now that struggle, that a change can be made but first we have to change the conversation.
This past week I spent some incredibly wonderful time with one of the most amazing young girls you will ever meet. As an eighth grader, she holds wisdom that I can only hope to one day have. Watching her interact with her friends, cheer with her cheer team and talking about boys at night, got me to thinking about young MK at that age. She was a mess and she had no idea what to do. More days than not she didn’t get the nutrition she needed as she missed meals and hid her double life. She strived to be the beautiful girl that all the boys wanted to date, and all the girls thought was gorgeous. And it got me to thinking about how early these issues start especially for young girls (young men are definitely not exempt). And even more it made me realize there are so many young people who deal with the same issues and we don’t address it because we assume they are too young to have those struggles. They aren’t.
So today I want to take a moment to talk to those young girls, the moms of young people, the teachers to these kids, and anyone who interacts with these young people on a daily basis…Take notice of these young people because they see the world in a manner that you can’t, they see the beauty and they see the pain. They are confused and trying to become the best individuals they can, so stop putting pressure on them to be the best. Encourage them to be their best.
Today across the world, there are young girls skipping lunch, running to the bathroom, literally running for miles, pouring over magazines, crying in the mirror, trying to fit into a certain perfect size jeans, writing in their diary because some boy told them they weren’t pretty. And it matters…it is not just simple words, your words, their words, they matter. We have to start changing this and it starts with changing the conversation.
Stop telling them they are beautiful for their physical appearance. Instead tell them they are important, their opinions matter, they are going to change the world. Their physical beauty is fleeting and could change in an instant but their beautiful hearts are forever. Tell them they are loved for the unique individual they are. Tell them there is no one like them in the world, because it is true. Don’t wait till it is too late!
Moms, Dads, teachers, friends, pastors, mentors, young people, you have a chance to change the conversation and it starts today. I hope today that you feel loved for who you are on the inside and not on the outside because that is what matters and from a young lady who has fought harder than anyone should ever have to, to believe this truth I promise changing the conversation, it is worth it and may you ALWAYS REMEMBER…
YOU are LOVED and YOU are WORTH it!
4 thoughts on “Changing the Conversation”
hey! its laura 🙂 i think about this alot with my girls. but i just can’t not tell them they are physically beautiful- you know? and, i think every girls longs to hear from their parents that they are beautiful in and out…im thinking maybe as long as it is not only that?? additionally, God did create physical beauty, so do we just ignore it? id dunno, just thinking outloud, it is so important!
Sweet friend I so agree! Every girl especially from her parents longs to hear that and God definitely created physical beauty. I think when we accompany it with love and reassurance that the basis of their worth is not in their beauty then why not call what is beautiful just that😊 Love that comment sweet friend!
Wow! When you said that you were grateful for your journey, that really hit home with me. I was reading in James 1 today, about being thankful for challenges because of the character they produce. It’s so awesome that you’re living that! Keep it up girl!
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