Stop Looking In the Mirror

Mirrror

I was a little over two when I realized that beauty mattered, way too young for a little girl to discover whether she was beautiful or not. I loved watching and participating in fashion shows at an early age and I loved watching beauty pageants. I was a little girl who loved anything to do with pretty dresses, high heels, and sparkles. This girly love wasn’t all together a bad thing, until I let it define and take over me. However, once my quest for beauty began is when I lost it all.

At two I looked in mirror before a family photo was taken and told my parents and grandmother, “My hair don’t look pretty.” What at the time was a funny comment from a precious little girl turned into my mantra. In the years that followed I would look in the mirror, and would always find something that “didn’t look pretty”.  Mirrors tortured and taunted me, no matter what anyone else said. Every time I heard the words, “You’re beautiful.” it was all I could do not to laugh, because there was no way I could have believed it.

The mirror is where I found my truth. If the mirror said I looked good (which it rarely did) than the day would go well and if the mirror showed that one hair was out of place than game over. For me, overcoming my issues had a whole heck of a lot to do with me not seeing myself as beautiful. They were all lies and I know that now but it can still be difficult. It didn’t just happen overnight and it certainly didn’t happen without a whole lot of work. As a woman, I think I can safely say that I believe all women struggle with the idea of beauty and feeling beautiful. We live in a society that is rampant with ideas of beauty, false, unattainable, unrealistic standards of beauty. It wasn’t until I finally realized and accepted that beauty wasn’t in a made up face, it wasn’t in high fashioned clothes, it wasn’t in a size zero, that it began to sink in. Beauty used to mean a specific size and specific numbers, but it doesn’t anymore.

And the reason it doesn’t matter anymore is because I realized some pretty incredible and important truths. Beauty is in the smiles that spread across faces when we experience joy, beauty is in the laughs that echo from our mouths as we enjoy our lives, beauty is in the eyes that sparkle as dreams come true, beauty is in the grace that we live our lives by.

My worth will never again be determined by my outside appearance, for I am worth far too much for that and so are you. Beauty is measured by the heart and the love and grace we show to others.

All of this sound like too much to swallow? It once did to me too, but now I know that it is completely true. I don’t ever want to live up to the world’s standards of beauty because it only causes, pain, heartache, and a life surrendered to these. I no longer have to have my life dictated by these unreachable standards and neither do you. Because whether you realize it or not, I know it’s true….YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and my prayer is that you would see and realize this beauty and know that it is lasting. So this week don’t look into the mirror for your beauty look into your heart.

All my love,

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17 thoughts on “Stop Looking In the Mirror

  1. There were so many parts of this where I wanted to stand up and cheer. Here is just one of them: “Beauty is measured by the heart and the love and grace we show to others.” I love ya, girl!

  2. This is incredible. As a momma to three young girls, I constantly try to have them tell me other things about themselves, other than just how “pretty” they might look. I always tell them they are beautiful, as does my husband, but we work really hard to have them understand other qualities about themselves.
    To be honest, beautiful lady, I often very much try to avoid looking in the mirror. I tend to find tired eyes, skin not quite “sun-kissed” enough and hair that could use a little help. But when I get away from the mirrors and into a group of friends and family, where I feel comfortable and can let myself “shine”, beauty doesn’t even cross my mind. (Although standing in the midst of a bunch of well-dressed, stylish ladies, it does creep in quite often.)

    Love this post! Can’t wait to share!! xoxo ❤

    • Everytime you comment my heart swells. Thank you for your constant encouragement. Oh how hard it is to teach young girls that. I can’t imagine and truly admire you for that. It’s so crazy how the mirrors sneaks up on us and then even when we feel good it happens when we use other people as comparing mirrors. Such truth in our own beauty. Oh how I love you sister. Thank you for reading and sharing!! Love you! 💗

  3. You’re pretty amazing. In the past few months with recovering from my ED I have learned a lot, but I definitely haven’t felt beautiful. We had an event on my college campus last week called Reclaiming Beauty and one of our amazing RDs talked about how beauty is not a feeling. Now I’ve gotten better at not letting “fat” be a feeling. When I feel fat I know I need to figure out what I’m really feeling- worn out, overwhelmed, mad, sad, etc. When our RD said beauty was not a feeling I was like “whaaaattt??” The mirror and I still are not friends haha. But I am beautiful regardless of what the mirror says. It’s easy to tear myself apart. It takes courage to love myself. It takes courage to see my God-given beauty which has absolutely nothing to do with what the mirror says. Simply put, I am beautiful. I don’t have to feel it . ❤

    • Amen to everything you just said. Oh how I remember those moments and it is so true! May be the next post I do on how fat is not a feeling! Thank you for sharing your story. Xoxo

  4. Beautifully written! I am so happy that I’ve connected with you because I love the messages that you share in your posts. This is such a great lesson. I find I am so self-critical. I am constantly tearing myself down and picking apart all of my flaws. Most people don’t see them but even right now I could sit here and rattle off dozens of them.

  5. I had similar thoughts when I began my recovery. I recognized how much my mood was dependent on what the mirror (or the scale) “told” me. Today, I absolutely believe what you wrote here: “Beauty is in the smiles that spread across faces when we experience joy, beauty is in the laughs that echo from our mouths as we enjoy our lives, beauty is in the eyes that sparkle as dreams come true, beauty is in the grace that we live our lives by.” Thanks for sharing your light and beauty with us! –Megan

  6. What a powerful and beautiful post…love this. I think we all need to ditch the mirror and leave the ideals of beauty aside. It is so harmful. Can’t wait tot have my daughters read this.

  7. Reflections in this mirror may be distorted by socially constructed ideas of beauty. Stop, catch yourself, and say out loud to God, “Why did You make me this way?” It puts things in perspective.
    Instead of complaining, smile and say: “I will praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful; I know it full well.

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  9. Hi I am a short fat, middle aged woman, but you know what after many years of fighting with my weight and not liking the Jo-Anne I saw in the mirror I now say this is me and I am a good woman, I am caring and loving and people love me even if I am fat so now I say this is me take me or leave me

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