I used to have a stack of magazines next to my bed and I used to pour over the magazines for hours. For hours, I sat and compared myself to the girls in the magazines and when I would finally take a break and look up at myself in the mirror I was defeated. The girl looking back in the mirror wasn’t good enough. She wasn’t skinny enough, pretty enough, smart enough or kind enough. Not only, was it defeating and life sucking to sit there and compare but it also defined who I was. Because I looked a certain way, based on the magazines ideas there were certain things I could and couldn’t wear. The worse my relationship with food got the more I limited myself in the clothing department. In fact, at my worst point I would only wear darker colors and baggy clothes, hoping that they would disguise me. Today that couldn’t be further from the truth, because today I rock sequins and sparkles like nobody’s business. Today I wear sequined pants.
Now don’t get me wrong I love my sweatpants and T-shirts as much as the next girl but I also love my sequins and sparkles, because I fought long and hard to wear those. Whether you have struggled with an Eating Disorder or not, as women, I believe we can all relate to the fact of wanting to feel pretty and to love the way that we look. Some days are harder than others and on those days we literally fight to get dressed. And then there are amazing days when you wake up craving a sparkly top, at least I do! However, no matter your size, past, look, or age I think we can all rock a little sequins and sparkle. Because to me wearing sequined clothing isn’t so much about the fact that my clothing sparkles in the sunshine but it is more about my love for the life and the opportunity I have to live it to the fullest. To me celebration is about sparkle. It is about dressing up just because. It is about wearing the sequined pants.
I believe that when you truly celebrate and appreciate everyday for what it is, a gift, than you are able to live life more fully. Maybe that seems crazy to you because circumstances are dark and you can’t imagine enjoying life, much less celebrating it. Maybe you don’t struggle with an Ed but you have another addiction that you just can’t kick. Living a life of sparkle and sequins doesn’t mean that you ignore life’s realities. It doesn’t mean you live in la la land. It doesn’t mean you ignore responsibility. It simply means that you don’t take life for granted.
For me living a life of sequins and sparkles means many things. It means doing what I love and working with college students. It means laughing and having conversations with people who mean the world to me. It means writing on this little piece of the internet and sharing my heart. It means eating dessert before dinner some nights. It means a glass of champagne just because. It means everyday is worth celebrating. It means wearing sweatpants and moccasins but also wearing sequins and sparkles.
Life can be really messy and we are quick to let one little instance ruin a perfectly good day. We are quick to judge and say harsh words. We are even quicker to compare the way we look and what we have to one another. We most weeks rush through the days just trying to get from point a to point b. We eat bowls and bowls of food or nothing at all depending on our emotions. I am guilty of all of the above and more. However, after years of fighting, after years of struggle, after years of heartache and of thinking that I wasn’t good enough, I decided I don’t want that life anymore. So even when the day is hard and the situation is tough I am going to remember to celebrate life and wear my sequins because life is too short not to celebrate and way too short not to sparkle. So this week my friend I hope you “wear” some sparkles and sequins!
My friend, my prayer is that you know how loved, valued and worthy you are. I pray you know that life is precious and everyday should be celebrated. And I pray that everyday you sparkle whether it is by wearing sequins or not.
All my love,